Ralph Stiffed Me

            Actually, it wasn’t a complete stiff.

            Last Wednesday, January 25th, to be exact, I was supposed to have my first meeting with Idea Advisor, Ralph. I went through all the hoops, checked in with his assistant, Earlene, set up the appointment, and filled out the necessary forms, thanks to the violet hued fairy, Daphne.

            I should’ve realized that Daphne’s last words to me were some kind of omen. I even repeated her words, time will tell, but still had hope that everything would go accordingly, and I would indeed get my appointment with Ralph.

            So, on the appointed day and time, I sat in front of my computer and typed in *AR on my keyboard. I closed my eyes and took a very deep breath, almost afraid to let the air out, and waited for Ralph to appear.

             I snuck a peek at the screen with one eyelid partially open. Then both lids sprang to attention. Astonishment and disappointment slapped me right in the face. There was no Ralph, only a post-it note attached to the screen. It said,  

“Appt. cancelled; manditory meeting for all IAs, today, stat!

Check with Earlene for next available time.

In meantime, think up ideas to discuss at next appt.”          

         Well, if that didn’t burst my bubble. Here I was expecting help from an expert, and all I got was a crummy post-it note telling me to think up ideas. I should’ve known better. I’m really not that naïve or gullible. Who in their right mind would believe strange people coming to life on a computer screen let alone taking advice from a lavender fairy?

            Hey, when you’ve got writer’s block, you’ll try anything once. I’m not sure if I’ll make another appointment. Maybe I should just trust my own mind and hope for some spark of an idea to come to mind.

            So, take that, Ralph. I bet Alph would’ve been a lot more help than you.





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3 Responses to Ralph Stiffed Me

  1. Roxie Matthews says:

    Artificial Intelligence. Sort of like Sham poo. If you want to get anything done, you need the REAL shit!

  2. Lisa Nowak says:

    I hate it when my imaginary friends stand me up. Talk about the ultimate rejection.

  3. Barb says:

    I need some artificial intelligence, but then I’d forget where I put it. Could I get on Alph’s “B” list?

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